Oh frak!

I fall in love with alternate swear words on tv. I freely admit to using Frak, Frell, Dren, and even the more obscure Felgercarb in conversation as if they are socially acceptable substitues for the real things. If I'm out with friends, I'll likely use the real thing. Unless I'm conversation with fellow geeky friends -- then those other words seem to come up as if they are some special code only the cool, geeky people know. That may seem like an oxymoron, I know.

Stubbing my toe often brings forth a string of, 'frak frelling frak!' Somedays my writing resembles a big pile of dren. Forgetting to record a tv show might result in a muttered 'oh felgercarb.'

I get that on tv, we get alternate words because it allows the characters to swear and keeps the censors happy.

In stories, this sort of thing bugs me. Sometimes.

In sci-fi stories, I'd much rather have characters actually swear in familiar terms. Sure, in the future I'm sure we'll come up with new obsenities, but I can relate to the current ones so they work for stories set in current day or the future.

Whereas in fantasy, I'm not fond of the 'f word' but other milder words don't bother me, however alternate world or religon based swearing seems more effective. Using something different helps establish an alternate world or time period feel.

Not all books need to contain this sort of language, but in others it is part of the characterization. I've written stories with and without swearing, both real and made up, it just depends on the character and situation if its called for or not.

I've received enough positive critique comments for using real obsentites in my sci-fi novels that it leads me to believe I'm not alone in my somewhat twisted preferences. Yet, in perusing publishers websites, I've run across a few who refuse to consider any works containing real swear words, though made up ones are acceptable.


Out of curiosity, what do you prefer?

Sequel update

I know you're all just dying to know how this sequel project is coming along. Ok, maybe a little feverish? A cough or a mild headache? I'll settle for distant concern.

Anyway, the answer is: Slowly.

Not for the fact that I don't know where the story is going or the characters aren't cooperating, I just haven't had the time to devote to it. Ten to twelve hour work days are just not conducive to creativity.

And now I've managed to complicate matters by fracturing a bone in my ankle so I'm not getting as much done work-wise or any-other-wise as I was before wednesday when I dashed for the business-line phone on a sleeping foot. Snap! Ouch! Let me tell ya, the answering machine can get it next time.

Hopefully work will slow down soon -- just a little would be nice -- and my ankle will heal up quickly so I can get back on track.

The Trust query is to a possibly workable stage, despite Gamnock's antics.

One short story is out in submission. Another is ready to head out very soon. The newest was to be from the pov of something not human. And so for inspiration, I turned to this Flight of the Conchords song- which turned out not to really inspire the short story at all -- other than the use of a robotic(ish) pov. But their songs always make me laugh and who can't use a good laugh now and then? Enjoy.

Tag debate

He asked VS. He said

Ray Rhamey of Flogging the Quill often cites that using 'he asked' is redundant because the dialogue is already shown as a question. Therefore the tag should be the traditional 'he said' to avoid the anvil of telling the reader that the dialogue was a question.

"So why do so many crit partners flip out over the use of he said when dialogue ends in a question mark?" he asked.

"Is it because we're so used to seeing he asked?" he said.

I consider myself mostly converted. Here's why:

'He said' is a tag to identify the speaker.

'He asked' is a tell of how the dialogue is spoken. Which is then no different than he whispered/ mutttered / sputtered / hissed / or the good old, ejaculated.

As writers, we (I'm sure I'm not alone here) often fixate on little things like this. Are we showing or telling? Are we doing the right one in the right place? Are we insulting the reader's intelligence by telling them that the dialogue a question in case they don't understand what a question mark means?

Oh, so many questions over a single word change. And this one of the many reasons why we're often seen staring off into space looking like we're not doing a darn thing when we say we're writing. We're pondering, debating, skimming our favorite memorized passages of other novels and wrting help books for guidance. Or maybe we really are daydreaming.

Two questions for you:
As a writer, which do you use?
As a reader, does said vs. asked stick out as wrong or does it look natural?

The crate

"I've got it!" Gamnock grins from ear to ear as he waves the top lid to his consolation prize crate in the air.

I lean over in my chair to see what he's so excited about -- and if I'm in for trouble. You can never trust the damned Pirate Guild. "What did they send you?"

He pulls out a sheet of yellow padding. "Looks like a bottle of some golden liquor."

"Ah yes, that was from a Xander scene when Mr. MC got a little buzzed and did too much internal thinking. Had to cut that one and just make the conflict happen instead of him musing about what might happen."

Gamnock holds up a triangle of metal. "Why did they send me a toy Guild fighter ship?"

"You think they could have fit a real one in the crate?" I resist the urge to add 'Duh'.

"I suppose you're going to tell me why this is in here too?"

"Since you asked, sure." I'm just glad there isn't a real fighter ship sitting around here somewhere. That's all Marin, assuming he's still alive, or Nekar need to find. "That was from a scene where Mr. MC and the rest of the gang flew off to do a little scouting of the Fragians."

"Looks like a nice ship, why did it get cut?"

"Mr. MC had enough things he was relatively good at, piloting a ship didn't need to be one of them. One too many ablities, you know? Too many things in his favor, and he becomes totally unbelievable. Not to mention that it seemed silly that important people were off on a scouting mission when they have underlings for that sort of thing."

Gamnock feels around at the bottom of the crate and comes up with a paper. He holds it up and pours over the scribbled words that I can't make out from my chair.

"What does it say?"

He looks up at me with a beaming smile. "I think you know."

"Umm, nope. Enlighten me."

"You're putting me back in."

"What?" I rip the paper out of his hands. "Let me see that." Stupid Pirates and their secret codes. I have no idea what it says.

I shake the paper and sputter for a moment. "I've considered about putting you back in the sequel. That's as far as I've gone. Besides, you wouldn't be the character you were before. Not exactly, anyway."

"But I get to keep my name. Admit it, you like me. You really like me." He spins around, looking like he should be a giddy sixteen year old girl instead of a rugged Caltessian man in his late twenties.

"Stop it! That's way out of character for you. Either of you. Just stop."

"Sure thing, boss. Whatever you say." He slips the toy ship into his shirt pocket and tucks the bottle of liquor under his arm.

"Don't get all exicited. I only said I'd think about it."

Gamnock vanishes.

Ah crap. I guess thinking about it is all it takes.

From each cut, a lesson

Gamnock struggles against his sticky bonds. "Lift it up! What are you waiting for?"

"I had one more thing I wanted to say before I get to you."

He slams his head onto the desktop and lets out a frustrated growl. "You've got to be kidding."

"Don't hurt yourself. Sheesh." I pull one strip of tape off. It's not nearly enough to give him room to escape, but seems to ease his frustration a little.

As dear Botanist pointed out in a comment on a previous post, not all is lost with my host of discarded characters. With each one I learned something new. Something about what not to do, more often that not, but it's part of that whole learning from mistakes thing, right?

Often I found that the characters I cut, their scenes and back story, had a part in shaping the MCs, fleshing them out, making them real. But upon learning to wield my editing knife, I discovered that those things I cut were for me, to learn about my characters, or to expand my world building, which needs to happen, but not all of it needs to be on the page.

For example... Gamnock.

"FINALLY!"

"I know, sorry about the long wait." (I'm not really all that sorry. I enjoy aggravating my characters.)

Gamnock was meant to be Mr. MCs man. His one trusted, devoted, what-can-I-do-for-you guy. Mr. MC and Ms. MC weren't getting along. Mr. MC needed someone to talk to.

But he already had someone. An established character.

Mr. MC needed a friend.

He already had two of those, both established characters.

Xander needed a mentor.

Xander got cut.

Mr. MC needed someone he could trust. Explicitly.

Great! Except that side plot got cut back because that whole not getting along plotline was taking way too darn long. Not having Gamnock there brought more tension and less passive MC mulling.

Gamnock showed me that Mr. MC had grown, he'd gained the loyalty of men willing to listen to him over Ms. MC. He was ready to make a stand for his independance. He was ready to charge forward with what must be done. (Is it scary that I'm picturing a scene montage in my head complete with a pulse-stiring soundtrack?)

Montage aside, none of that needed to happen in the book. It could be implied. Which brings me to my next point: anvils.

"Hold your anvils. Can you let me go now?"

I pull away the tape, trying not to snicker as he gasps when I yank the tape from his bare skin.

"Thank you, Gamnock, for being so patient. The Pirate Guild sent over this crate as a consolation prize for getting cut from not one, but two books."

"I knew those guys wouldn't forget me." He wipes the tape residue from his hands and neck and grins. "I don't suppose you have the opening code?"

"Sorry, no. You'll have to find a pry bar." I try to remember what I cut from the Pirate Guild that they might have sent to Gamnock.

He rubs his hands together and runs off.

I guess we'll both just have to wait to find out.