I rip the masking tape from the Barthomian Captain’s mouth. “Chuck, I have a deal for you.”
“Why would I want to make a deal with you?”
“Because I could keep you up here decorating my tissue box forever. Would you like that? You realize, that being a fictional character, I can just leave out the commonplace things like feeding you, making sure you get bathroom breaks, sleep, you know, all the day to day stuff we writers sometimes skip over and the reader assumes happened? What if it just never happened, Chuck?”
“That would suck.”
“Indeed.”
“You’ve been up here since, what, day nine?”
“Yeah.”
“No shower, no change of clothes, no food, water or a bathroom. Enjoying this?”
“Not really.”
“Those soldiers of yours are morons. Sadly you have the only twinkle of evil among the entire lot of you. I need you back among them. Shut down that stupid dust bunny shelter, find out what Bulky-short-haired-hot-tempered-violet-ex-partner-who-sold-out-Ms-MC-and-caused-her-serious-emotional-harm-before-she-hunted-him-down-and-killed-him is up to. Report back by day twenty-three.
“I’ll gladly go back to my men, but spy on my fellow discarded characters? I don’t know about that.”
“You’re evil! Come on. Embrace it!” I pull the rest of the tape off him, letting him enjoy a few moments of freedom.
“Maybe.”
“There just might be a spot in this novel for you.”
His eyes light up. “Really?”
“Sure.”
“Wait a minute. What was the question for today?”
I hand him the flyer on which he and Delilah had written their confession.
“That’s what I thought. What are your goals for this novel and do you actually plan to complete it? I don’t want to be stuck in some half-finished, archived file for a decade or two.”
“Never fear, Chuck. I plan on finishing this one. Someday soon, it might even go on to my crit group were people will read about you.”
“Read about me? Really? I’ve waited for that for so long!”
“So what do you say?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” He sprints to the edge of the desk and leaps off with a victorious whoop.
OK, Jean, now I have to ask, exactly who was the evil one in this dialogue? :)
ReplyDeleteWrite what you know, right? ;)
ReplyDelete