This is a test of the Emergency Snark Harnessing System

There are days in working e-commerce that sorely test my Emergency Snark Harnessing System. Those days make up about 250 days out of the year.

Please, for the love of all that's holy, people, I know the internet is full of shiny, but read the description before you take the time to hunt down contact information and ask questions. I'd love to say there are no stupid questions, but yes, yes there are. A lot of them. And almost all of them can be answered in the privacy of your own home and head by just reading the description of the item you're looking to purchase.

The fact about these that amazes me most is that people take the time to find the contact button and type a question, but can't take the time to read the few lines of information that are right there below the item photo. See photo, want thing, but all these...words. Bah. I'll just ask.

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Let's say I'm selling a 8" x 12" poster of a pink flower in a white setting that is described as printed on a self-adhesive paper so no frame, putty, or pins are required. It is shown applied on a blue wall in a bedroom.

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Some of my recent favorites from the trying-my-patience file and the responses the ESHS did not allow me to send:

I really like this poster. Is it self adhesive?
Seriously?

Does this poster glow in the dark?
Does it say it does? Is it shown glowing in the dark? Umm no. So why would you think it might?

Is this a poster?
*headdesk*

What size is the bed in this room? I have a queen bed and am wondering how the poster would look in relation to that.
Do you not own a measuring device of any kind? Did you not consider that this would be so much easier to hold up to YOUR wall in the room with YOUR bed?

I have a green wall, do you think the poster will look good on that?
I am not in your house. I do not know what your wall or room looks like, and I'll hazard a guess my design tastes are different than yours. Do YOU think it will look good? I'm going to say yes because I want to pay my bills.

Will this poster work in a kitchen?
No, the adhesive is specially formulated to only adhere to bedroom walls.

How big is the poster?
Come on. You're not even trying. They are the only numbers in the entire three sentence description.

Will this poster dent my wall?
Does paper normally dent your wall? What are your walls made of that this is even a question?

How would I apply this poster to my wall? Does it require adhesive or pins?
Do you require reading glasses?

I have a frame that I picked up at a garage sale. It was gold but I didn't like it, so I painted it black. It turned out really nice. Last weekend I hung it on my living room wall, but it needs something. I think this poster is just the thing I'm looking for. Will it fit in my frame?
While I might enjoy reading about projects regarding refinishing and repurposing, I get my fix on blogs focusing on this stuff in my free time. Also, look around. Am I standing beside you with a tape measure? No. Have you provided measurements of the frame, which would answer your own question? No. Did you read the measurements of the poster that I clearly provided in the description? Again, no.

I would like a quote on a custom poster using the poem I have provided. I don't know how big I want it yet, but how much would it be?
Well, somewhere between $2 and $4,000. Get back to me when you look at your space and get an idea of how big you want it.

I want to order the poster you have listed. Please make it custom for me.
*crickets*  I'm supposed to know what you want customized, how?

I would like to order this poster, but I want it with the pink flower that is shown. How do I order that?
Uhhh, click the buy button? I don't know where you've shopped before, but we typically don't  randomly change the items from what is shown and then ship them out for giggles.

Can I order this poster with a different background instead of the blue one?
That is a wall. On that wall is the poster that is being sold. Think about it for two more seconds and the answer will become clear.

(On a customer note on an already purchased pink flower poster order waiting to be fulfilled): Please make this poster 16 x 24 and of a photo of a golden retriever playing in the grass. Thanks.
Sooo, you purchased an item and paid for it, but it's not at all what you actually want, and I'm supposed to provide art I don't have and double the size for no additional charge. Does this tactic work anywhere else? No? Amazing. It doesn't work here either.

Reading: It's important. Except for that last one. That was just amazingly assumptive and fully deserving of snark.

Gone in a Flash

Time for another ISWG post. I just got back from a lovely massage and am all nice and relaxed...except for the continuous need for a box of Kleenex thanks to allergy season. But, rather than dwell on my dripping nose, how about I grump about my apparent inability to write flash.

For years I have tried to be succinct, to cover a story from beginning to end in under a thousand words, to work in details and make it feel whole. Yet, my most recent attempt has returned to me with several rejections with lovely comments (all comments truly are lovely and very much appreciated even when I might grump about them here) to the tune of: I like the idea/characters/plot, but it feels like it needs more story.

If it needs more story, then its no longer in the flash category then is it?

So either I need to resign myself to the fact that I'm meant to stick with the short story lengths I'm good at, or I need to keep banging my head on the keyboard until I can make this work. Perhaps I should just accept that I don't write stories where no one dies, everyone gets their happily ever after or flash fiction. It's good to know one's limits, right? 

July Eye Report

July has been a whirlwind of evening and weekend activities. I started the month off by participating in a close by author event with thirty-some other authors, most local and some from distant shores.

Other than that one day, I took the month off from all things writing in favor of relaxing and showing our young Spanish guest around town. We spent a long weekend up around Mackinac Island, did a lot of biking, and ate a lot of pizza and ice cream. We did a lot of local sightseeing as well, visiting beaches, nature parks, malls, museums, and a large assortment of restaurants, shops and tourist attractions.

Now that she's gone, its back to cooking dinner, cleaning the house, hanging out with the chickens, gardening and, of course, writing. The first round of edits are in on Trust so I'll be hitting those hard and then waiting on round two and working on edits of Sahmara. Ah the joys of edits. I do actually enjoy them for the most part.

Speaking of chickens, two of the girls have finally started earning
their keep. We got our first eggs this week! I'm pretty sure these two are discussing the finer points of egg laying. Once all six get going, we should have enough eggs for all the friends, family and neighbors who have been inquiring about getting on the receiving end of our eggs.

While I've been taking a break from writing, I've been enjoying a great deal of reading and watching...

Top of my reading list, the first three books of the Outlander series. These 800 to 1000 page tomes have been good company to relax with out on the porch while the chickens roam about the yard. (We have a lot of predators around so they only get to roam while under supervision.) Now if only I could figure out how to turn off the Scottish accent that has invaded my head. Only a pile more of these giant books to go, I'm have a feeling I won't be hearing the last of that accent for a good long while.

On the watching front, we sped through The Shannara Chronicles now that all of the first season is available on Netflix. Our teen Spanish guest and our daughter enjoyed this. My husband and I mocked the incredible amount of angsty open mouth and round-eyed looks, guessing the predicable dialogue before it was spoken and counting the cliches as they flew by. But we did see the season out and would probably watch more if for nothing else than it's a fantasy series we can watch with our teenager. While there was some implied sex, it didn't venture into uncomfortable to watch together territory. I haven't read any of the books, though I hazard to assume they must be better than that show, and may attempt reading one in the future. I guess in that regard, the tv series did work.

We've also been working our way through the second season of Wayward Pines. I'm liking this season more than the first because of the exploration of the world rather than focusing on the reveal-centric themes of the first season. However, they've managed to kill off the majority of the main cast so it feels like either the writers are doing a lot of house cleaning or the series is going to hell fast. Time will tell if there is a third season.

My horrible sleep cycle (sleep sound for 3 or 4 hours, wake up for 1 or 2 and then sleep good again for 1 or 2 more), has allowed for a lot of early hour viewing with earbuds in my comfy chair where the light of my laptop doesn't bother anyone else. How badly have I been sleeping? Let's just say I've worked my way through ten seasons of Supernatural.

The Heat is Here

Summer has finally hit Michigan in full force, bringing hot humid weather that some hate, and I generally enjoy. Yes, it can be miserable, but I prefer to appreciate the heat while it's here, knowing we'll be back to ice and snow soon enough.

The tomatoes are growing. Blueberry season is beginning and I've discovered this hybrid melon that tastes like a golden delicious apple. It is in fact, delicious.

July brought a halt to writing with the arrival of our student from Spain, who is spending the month here in Michigan. We had a great time with the student we hosted last year so we're doing it again. While our guest is quiet, on a level that rivals my daughter, we're managing to take some time each day to go do something fun, even it's just taking a walk to the dog park. Next weekend will bring a short road trip, but until then it's little adventures here and there.

In the midst of forth of July celebrations, I totally overlooked this months ISWG post last week. Oops! I shall make up for it next month.

For now, I'm off to enjoy the weather and an outdoor concert this evening. Next month I will have edits on Trust to dive into. I hope you're enjoying your summer too!

Time For A Garden

It's been a while since my last blog post. Either April burned me out far more than I'd realized or its one of those life got in the way things. More specifically work, but either way, my writing and blogging time has been relegated to the backseat for the past few weeks. I like to think it's sitting back there, making notes for when I allow it back into the passenger seat - hopefully not notes on how to do get back at me for making it sit in the back seat for so long. Because knowing the types of characters that I write, that's exactly what they are doing.

In the last post where I shared my garden, Andrea asked how to make time for yard work. Well, that's what we're going to chat about today.

As a mother who spent a lot of time on her flower beds from before kids onward into having teenagers, the first rule is: Plan to be interrupted at any given moment and work accordingly. This means, pick a small section, a corner, around a tree, the side of the house, whatever area doesn't feel entirely overwhelming. Acknowledge upfront that it won't get done in a day, or even maybe in a week. 

Get your tools together and check on the kids, whether they are in the house with someone else or running hilly nilly through the yard, and then get to work. If I'm going to be planting a new flowerbed, I'll spend the first round of time marking the area and then clearing the grass (or weeds). Then I'll dispose of whatever I just cleared - ideally in the mulch pile that I keep in the back of my yard. At this point, I could be done for the day, or if everyone is behaving, break up the dirt and make a plan for what I want to plant there. Again, I could be done for the day.

If all is well, I'll begin planting. This is a point where I really try to keep things picked up as I go along because if I've made it this far into a day, it's very likely I'll get pulled away by someone. If, by some miracle, I manage to get everything planted, its time to break out the hose, give it all a drink and then toss a bag or two of mulch around everything. The mulch is an important step and should be done as soon as possible after the dirt is broken up because weeds will pop up very quickly in that nice loose soil. Mulch will keep them to a minimum. Mulch is your friend.

Eventually one little area spreads into another and another and before you know it, or years later, depending on your level of interruptions and ambition, you'll have a lovely garden to show for your efforts.

Things to keep in mind:

Gardens take perpetual upkeep. Even with my gardens established, cleaned up and mulched, I spend around ten to twenty minutes a day walking through and plucking out weeds while appreciating whatever is flowering that day. Only make the garden as big as you feel you have the time to maintain.

Mulch has to be replaced every year if its not put on thick enough, and every two years to keep it freshed up and make up for decomposition. I used around 9 yards of mulch the first year and only 5 the second to fill in the thin areas and then make it all uniform in color. Around here, 5 yards of mulch is about $150. Another thing to keep in the budget.

Flowers will need to be thinned or replaced depending on how well they do.

Roses are pretty, but can be finicky and need pruning. I enjoy them in other people's gardens.

Avoid shrubs that need yearly pruning. Unless you have time for that sort of thing. I thought I did at my old house. I was wrong. I'm opting for less time and stress in this garden.

A curved bed is more visually interesting than a straight edged one. Lay out out a hose to get a feel for the edge line does work nicely. If you have a riding lawn mower, be aware of the types of curves it can and can't mow in one easy swoop. You don't want to have to break out the weed whip every time you mow because you made the curves too severe.

Beds with a border are easier to maintain. Bricks and edging blocks cost around $1 each and make a great border that can be mowed right over. At the current house, I opted for the cheap black plastic edging that get's half buried in the ground. Seems like it was $20 for 50 ft or thereabouts. Make sure to keep enough above to hold 3-4 inches of mulch back from your grass. Rocks can make a natual border, but you'll need that weed whip to keep things looking neat, and it doesn't do a spectuacular job of keeping your grass and flowers seperated wherever the rocks meet.

Perennials are awesome. They come back year after year, will spread, and can be divided. Check when they flower and try to mix them so something is always flowering in each bed. Generally, once established, perennials take a less watering than annuals. 

Ornamental grasses, dwarf trees and shrubs add interest beyond the usual flowers.

Ask friends and family for pieces of plants you like from their gardens. Free plants! I've lost track of how many people I've given plants to over the years. I have plants from both my grandmothers that I moved from the old house to this one. It's a great way to remember people once they are gone and, even better, you can continue to pass them on to others.

Watch the clearance racks at your local nursery or home improvement stores. 95% of everything I buy is clearance or on super sale. Sure, it won't look great the first year, but next the year, it will. Just make sure to avoid anything that has mildew, or anything that looks like a disease. The majority of clearance plants are there because they're done flowering or the season is winding down and the nursery just wants to clear out all this stuff that's totally root bound. July is a great time to snag plant deals.

Don't worry about it being small the first year. Plants grow. A $1 perennial will look like the $9 pot of the same thing next year.

You can put perennials in your pots, or mix them with annuals for more summer color. When fall rolls around, transplant the perennials from your pots into a new flower bed and you'll have a head start on next year's gardening project. Or, if its a fairly large pot, keep them in the pot and move the pot to a protected area by the house to minimize damage from freezing.

Rocks add interest to flower beds. Stack them, spread them out, use them as a border, throw one here and there. I happened across someone wanting two cargo van loads of rocks out of the backyard of a house they'd recently purchased. It didn't cost me anything more than a lot of sweat and the gas to drive across town.

Gardening is an excellent workout but don't forget to wear sunscreen, because unlike the gym, the sun will get you while you sweat.

How long does it take to make a flowerbed the size of mine? That totally depends on how much time you have. At my old house, I had a lot (a whole lot) of smaller bed areas that equaled the size if my now one giant bed. I created those small beds, as dealing with my infant to teenage kids allowed, over 18 years. At the new house, with self-sufficient teens, I created the bed in two and half months. It was a long and sweaty, exhausting two and half months, but well worth it to have the whole thing done.

Spending time out in the flowers is a wonderful place to go while pondering plots or when your characters stop talking to you.

Happy gardening!

June IWSG

This year seems to be flying by and by the end of each day, I wonder where the time has gone. Things have been super busy with the oldest graduating last week, getting his Eagle Scout rank this week and finishing up on the financial paperwork for college. All things both stressful and exciting. The youngest is wrapping up her last few weeks of school, which means I get to play chaperone on a school trip to Chicago this weekend, along with an orchestra concert and honors ceremony also this week. I guess that sort of explains where time is going lately.

It certainly hasn't been going toward writing.

One of my giant flower pots.

Stepping stones my daughter and

I made years ago and moved to

our new house to create a path

down the hill

After signing the contract on The Narvan last month and diving in to edits on a couple short stories, I was brimming with energy. Then, overnight, I crashed hard. And so, sitting at the bottom of the enthusiasm well, I decided to step away from the laptop and get outside and enjoy what good weather Michigan has to offer.

We get about six awesome days a year. No, seriously. We went from dead of winter to summer, then back to a couple days of spring, back to winter, and back to summer. Bodies should not have to go from winter coats to shorts in a matter of two days, and back and forth. In between all that was a lot of rain, which turned everything into a swampy mess. It's currently summer but the mosquitos haven't yet gotten the memo, so it's enjoyable to be outside.

The front of the house walkway flower garden.

We found this old plow on the property when we purchased it.

Though it's broken, it makes a good garden decoration.

The garden I started last summer needed a lot of weeding and five yards of mulch to cover all the thin spots from last year's application. And all of that was up hill. It was a good workout and I managed to get my first sunburn of the year in May.

I'm amazed how well everything is coming in already. 98% of what I bought and planted last year was on clearance. Meaning it was either half-dead, mostly dead, root-bound to or the extreme. Yet, all but five plants have come up and gone crazy. The pansies from the one pot I had on the porch last year seem to have seeded themselves all over my garden. Which is awesome.  Free plants! I prefer not to buy annuals other than to fill my pots. Everything in the garden is perennial. In fact, most of what I put in the pots is too. I just pull it out in the fall and put it in open places in the garden.

These were all rocks we either found on the property, that

we transported over from our previous house, or hauled out

of a backyard for a guy we found on Craigslist in the middle

of the hottest part of  last summer. Let's just say there's a lot

of sweat involved with these rocks.

The plants are coming in so well that I will have to split several of them already after only one year. They really love this soil! Plants in the garden at my previous home didn't look this good after ten years. It's pretty neat to see plants actually grow like they do in the pictures in flower catalogs.

The ground cover I planted last year was honestly just a few little sprigs and now those pathetic little bits are lush mounds that have spread all through the rocks. As rain washed over the rocks and broke tiny pieces off, depositing them down the hill, they've spread all over. At this rate, I won't need much mulch in a few years.

Next year's project is putting in a pond with a couple waterfalls, but for now, the rocks are in place to fill that area. Now that the hard gardening work is done for the year, I can sit back and enjoy watching things grow. And, of course, get back to writing...right after I stain the deck.

.

April and May Eye Report

It's been awhile since I've done a report post so it feels like there's a lot to say. Sorry for the long post.

Before I get started, if you're in the market for book cover artwork, my writing buddy Marion Sipe is having a 25% off sale. Check out her Facebook page to see some of her work.

And while we're on writing, after the last post regarding my project pile, I decided to dive into editing short stories. Violets, written from your V word suggestions during April, has been polished up and sent out into submissions. I'm currently mulling how to fix Tickle, a sci-fi short that's been sitting in my editing pile for a couple years now after some editorial feedback. Aaaand, pondering cover art for Sahmara, the fantasy novel I intend to self publish at some point this summer. I'm also having my first meeting tomorrow with the editor I'll be working with on The Narvan series.

Now then, back April and most of May and all the things my eyeballs read and watched.

On the watching front:
Helix: As much as I wanted to stay awake for the CDC and Immortals duking it out, Billy Campbell's whispery raspy voice puts me to sleep. When I was able to stay awake, I found this show creepy, disturbing (particularly the second season), and outfitted with just enough twists to keep things interesting. I was disappointed to find out there wouldn't be a third season.

The White Queen: I stumbled across this by chance and thought, 'hey, this sounds like a familiar title'. Well yeah, the book has been sitting on top of one of my TBR piles for about a year now. Duh. I knew I was in for goodness because: Phillipa Gregory. Again, I was disappointed the series didn't continue, but the show did a wonderful job of making history interesting. If only history was written as fictionalized romance in school, I would have paid a lot more attention. Now I guess I better get on reading the book. Oh, but there are so many books in my stacks.

Daredevil: We danced around whether to give this a try or not so soon after Jessica Jones, which we did like, but never quite fell in love with. And well, this seemed very similar as far a setting and superhero and plot. Loved the first season, with all the action, and trying to balance the day job with late night crime fighting and you know, being blind. The second season, while still pretty good, got really predictable. As in there would always be that one bad guy that survived just long enough for DD to ask him who had done this to him (because it was him). Always. To the point we started placing bets on which guy would be in the brink of death but still helpfully talking. But, for a superhero series, it had decent character depth and I'll be waiting for the third season. Punisher, meh. Every time I saw him, I kept saying to myself, hey, it's Shane, still being an asshole just like on Walking Dead. And Electra, also not a huge fan. While I did like that she wanted to be good, but was evil...but was good... and I lost track, her character generally lacked the depth I was looking for.

The Ranch: Totally going off what I normally sit down to, my husband suggested we give something funny a try. I hate laugh tracks. Just throwing that out there. But I like funny, and the show slowly grew on me. While a lot of the humor felt like Ashton Kutcher & Danny Masterson rehashing their roles on That '70s Show, but all grown up and as the sons of a cattle rancher, I did enjoy the relationship with their father and his odd relationship with their mother. A couple scenes where even touching.  

Not to mention Game of Thrones! So far I feel quite good about where this season is going. In fact, I'm downright happy with it. Which means someone is probably going to die and piss me off again.

I'm also watching Fear the Walking Dead, but I'm not sure why anymore. At this point in the series, I'm over the interest I had in seeing out the zombie outbreak occurred and how civilization broke down. I'm mostly hoping that the entire cast gets eaten and the show ends. Other than Salazar and Strand, they're all so busy being stupid, it's amazing they haven't become a main course yet. I take back everything I've ever said about TWD's Carl wandering off like a idiot. These kids, they're morons. And they're older. There's no excuse for any of them to act as irresponsibly as they are in these situations. I want to support the Walking Dead universe, I do, but my tolerance for stupid has been reached.


Reading:
I started my reading rush with Sherrilyn Kenyon, because it gets my eyes warmed up and my brain in reading mode. After pouring through Fantasy Lover and The Guardian, I was ready to branch out into something beyond paranormal romance.

Next up was Hunter by Mercedes Lackey. I've read, well, a shelf worth of her books, though it's been a long, long time. So when this turned up on the top of my daughter's stack of books she brought home from her book club, I grabbed it out of curiosity. Would I still enjoy her writing? Tons of world building here and an interesting point of view in the girl main character that goes a smidge too third wall for my taste, yet it was an enjoyable foray into YA fantasy, and I'm looking forward to the next book.

Then I tried to get into a cyberpunk novel, but after a couple days of attempting to get to a point where the story grabbed me, there came a point where I had to admit that it just wasn't working for me, despite that I've enjoyed other novels by this author before. I may hang on to it and try again in a few months when I'm in a different mindset.

Next on my stack was Karen Marie Moning's The Highlander's Touch. I spent an enjoyable day of reading your typical portal romance and delivered reliably the quality experience I've come to expect from this author when I'm in the mood for a little highlander flavor. And while I was at it, a couple weeks later, discovered I had another book from the same series so I flew through Spell of the Highlander as well. I do enjoy her plucky heroines and their humor. And now I find myself thinking in the Scottish tone she uses in her books. Guess I better read something else to wash the Scot away.

Ever have one of those nights when you should go to sleep, but instead grab a book, and then realize you've read it before, but you stay up half the night and read it again anyway? Yeah, I did that. I think I've gone through all the Sherrilyn Kenyon in all my stacks now. Maybe. I haven't checked my writing room stack and I probably shouldn't. Devil May Cry was just as enjoyable the second time around.

Next up was Christine Feehan's Dark Storm. Which wasn't in any of my stacks, but was at the book store on sale while I was there doing a job. Damn you sale racks. I need to get out of my paranormal romance rut. But I did appreciate that this book, while one of the Carpathian Novels, was a bit different than her usual formula. I like different.

Okay so the next book I read will not be paranormal romance. Really. And I need to stay out of the bookstore.

So Many Projects

With the frenzy of April behind me, I've had time to get all three novel drafts for the The Narvan sent off to my publisher and do a fairly major overhaul of Sipper, a long sci-fi short story. Today's plan is to get that off into submissions. But then that leaves at a crossroads of far too many choices.

Sahmara, a fantasy novel, is on the radar for self publishing - which means I'll need to devote time to editing and formatting and cover art. It's had time to rest after a heavy round of critiques and edits so my eyes will be fresh again, however...

Interface has been haunting me through my daughter's disapproving looks every time I mention that I'm working on something other than the YA sci-fi that I dove into last November and then set aside on in favor of writing Bound in Blue (The Narvan: Book 3). Oops. Sorry.

I'd love to get back to Not Another Bard's Tale, which I left hanging without a middle in 2009. Working on a silly fantasy novel would be a good pick me up for this very random spring we're having. It's the middle of may and it's currently in the low 40s. It actually snowed nearby last night. In May. The weekend before it was nicely in the 70s. Michigan weather is known for being random, but this is a little too over the top.

And then there are a host of short stories that need work. My submission pile is dry and needs refilling.

So many projects... Which to work on while I await the first round of edits on Trust?

A to Z Reflections 2016

Another April A to Z has come to a close. (Thank goodness)

I picked the least graphic photo.

You're welcome. And yes,

it really did hurt like hell,

but I turn into a comedian

when bad things happen. Don't

sit next to me at funerals.

April brought all sorts of interruptions to my intended writing productiveness. The first of which, on the eve of A to Z, was accidentally slicing off the tip of my index finger while making dinner. Not the best thing to do with a month of off the cuff blogging ahead of me. Mashing the keys with my giant gauze-wrapped finger didn't go so well and, for the first week or so, put be behind as far as visiting other blogs because it was just frustrating and painful to type.

While that was healing, the machine that is one of my primary income sources for my business decided to act up and behave like a two year old being force-fed an all vegetable dinner. For three long days I was covered in blue ink - no, seriously, my hands and arms looked like I'd violently murdered every single smurf that may have ever existed - while I played equipment tech and finally tracked down the faulty part and replaced it.

Which put me three full days behind on production, meaning I was working a lot of overtime trying to catch back up during one of our busiest months. One the whole, the work aspect of April was incredibly stressful and didn't allow me the time and energy I'd hoped for as far as spending time writing story starts. I still managed to do them all, just not as in depth or on time as I had wanted to.

On the more exciting side of things that distracted me from A to Z this year, was emailing back and forth to discuss a deal with my publisher that resulted in a three book contract for my space opera series, The Narvan.

But I made it through and wrote 26 short story starts, one of which became a full story. I visited blogs, made blog friends, and had a lot of laughs while reading some hilarious posts in a month that I really needed some stress relief.

What would I do differently next year? Write half the posts in advance. Having done posts both ways, each for two years, I'm ready to go with a combination and give myself a little slack. I'd love to continue with the short stories based on words visitors provide, but I'd also probably do some posts on random things to break them up, maybe every other day.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to stop by, some of you each and every day, and for all the words you so generously offered to inspire me. I hope you'll continue to hang around.

Guest Post by Author Susan A Royal

Today I welcome, Susan A Royal, author of the newly released, Xander's Tangled Web.

I've read Susan's Not Long Ago, and greatly enjoyed her time travel tale. I hope you'll enjoy her books too.

                                                  ~ • ~
When Princess Mena vanishes without a trace, Xander must deal with gypsies, love potions and half-truths before unraveling the mystery.
                                                  ~ • ~

After a late night visit to Battington’s marketplace, Princess Mena vanishes without a trace. Merchants are frantic, because King Leander has called for a curfew and postponed the Spring Festival
until further notice. Certain his former constable is the man for the job, the mayor hires Xander to investigate, hoping he can solve the mystery in a hurry so things can go back to normal. But Xander’s not so sure that’s possible, because there’s romance involved, and he knows when that happens folks who are normally very sensible seem to lose all reason. In addition to sorting out truths, half-truths and outright lies, he must deal with gypsies, love potions and an illegal moonshine operation before he gets to the bottom of things.

Find more about Susan and her books:
Xander’s Tangled Web (fantasy, mystery)

In My Own Shadow (fantasy, adventure, romance)

Not Long Ago (time travel, adventure, romance)
Not Long Ago book trailer

All books available at MuseItUp, Amazon, B&N, Goodreads
And you can find more about Susan at her website or her blog.

Born in west Texas and raised in south Texas, Susan makes her home in a 100-year-old farmhouse in a small east Texas town. She shares it with a ghost who likes to harmonize with her son when he plays guitar.
She is married and the mother of six (she counts her children’s spouses as her own) and five grandchildren who are all unique and very special. Her family is rich with characters, both past and present. Her grandmother shared stories of living on a farm in Oklahoma Territory with three sisters and three brothers and working as a telephone
operator in the early 20 th century. Her father told her about growing up in San Antonio in the depression, and she experienced being a teenager during WWII through her mother’s eyes.

When she isn’t writing, she works as a secretary in education and does her best to keep up with her grandchildren. Music and painting are two of her passions. She is a firm believer in getting what you want without breaking the bank. She loves to bargain shop anywhere there’s a sale and began repurposing long before it was popular. She paints,
crafts and sews. Her office/craft/sewing room is littered with her latest projects.

Susan loves to take her readers through all kinds of adventures with liberal doses of
romance. So far, she’s written two books in her It’s About Time series, Not Long Ago and
From Now On. They are time travel adventures with romance about two people who fall
in love despite the fact they come from very different worlds. In My Own Shadow is a
Fantasy adventure/romance. Out this fall is her YA fantasy, Xander’s Tangled Web.
Look for her books at MuseItUp/Amazon/B&N. You can also find Odin’s Spear, one of
her short stories featured in a Quests, Curses, and Vengeance anthology, Martinus
Publishing, available on Amazon.

Want to know more? Visit susanaroyal.wordpress.com or susanaroyal.moonfruit.com
for a peek inside this writer’s mind and see what she’s up to. You never know what new
world she’s going to visit next.

May IWSG and a Happy Annoucement

Is it really the first Wednesday of the month again? Where did April go? Oh yes, it was a blur of A to Z blogging.

Which would typically bring me to A Story a Day in May, my annual attempt to refill my short story file with rough drafts. However, after a month of exchanging emails with my publisher, the contract I'd been waiting for finally arrived in my inbox. What contract you might ask?

I'm happy to announce that the first three books in my space opera series, The Narvan, will be published with Caffeinated Press.

I don't have a publishing schedule yet, but I will share that information when it becomes available. First up will be Trust, which has had a very long journey. I'm excited to finally share this story with a wider audience than my critique group.

So what happened to my short story effort? Well, I'm busy learning Markdown, which is what my publisher is now using for edits. What better way to learn it than my doing a quick revision of the drafts of the second and third books? The formatting is pretty straightforward and things are plugging right along. Which means I should soon be back to revising Sipper - which is a short story, albeit a long short story, for an end of the month anthology submission deadline. Once that's out of the way, I'm hoping to get back into the spirit of things and either churn out some new drafts or revisit some of the many drafts I have in my folder from the past two years that I still haven't gotten to.

While I revise and celebrate, I invite you to stop back on the 6th for an interview with author
Susan Royal about her newest book.

A to Z: The final story start

After a long two days at a science tournament with my daughter, I'm finally back with the final entry for the A to Z short story beginning.

I spent a good portion of our school bus ride full of young science kids with my partner in snark and fellow team mom, Debra. We passed the miles by chatting while the kids and other parents did their best not to annoy the slightly retentive bus driver, who while a sweet woman, may have benefited from a valium before we set out across the state. One of conversations we had was about names and the perils of autocorrect. What follows is a partially true story.

Z story:

Debra finished the last two sentences of her scathing resignation letter, signed it and hit send. She'd been the victim of one of many of her bosses zingers. He thought they were the funniest things on earth, just the byproduct of his zany humor, but no one in the office found being the butt of his jokes funny. Especially not her, and yesterday's comment about her zipper in front of the entire office was the last straw.

If that guy was a zombie, she'd be first in line to knife him in the eye, but good references were hard to come by so she had to do this the right way, and he wasn't undead, and the police frowned upon stabbing co-workers. Maybe she'd finish up her two weeks and go work at her sister's zip-line business. Strapping in tourists willing to drop a hundred bucks for half an hour of treetop thrills didn't sound so bad. Sure beat sitting at a desk all day, checking email and generating reports.

Her inbox chimed. She opened the speedy reply to her letter only to find a row of laughing emoticons. Confused she skimmed her email only to have her stomach drop when she reached the bottom. For a moment she seriously considered crawling under her desk. In haste to send off her letter, she hadn't noticed her name being autocorrected. Who on earth was going to anything Zebra Jones said seriously? No one. All the pent up frustration she'd channeled into her letter had been wasted, and now she'd never live down a barrage of zebra memes sure to come her way any second.

A to Z: Short Beginnings Z

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your Z word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

And thank you all who stopped by throughout the month. Z story will be posted tomorrow and don't forget to stop by during May to check in on my short story month progress and, of course, the A to Z wrap up post.

Y Story:

The first rays of light shown over the desert, revealing that Yvonne really was still in the middle of nowhere. She groaned, holding her hand over the gash in her side and again cursed the sign she'd missed about the hairpin turn, she'd also missed. The light of the morning did nothing to improve the sight of her crumpled car. Or the blood, both dried and fresh, on her shirt.

Nothing but empty road, yuccas and prickly bushes bearing yellow flowers in all directions. She wanted to scream, but it would probably just attract those yucky vultures. Instead, she stuffed the bottle of water she'd picked up the night before at a gas station into her purse along with the flashlight and lighter she kept in her glove box and struck out along the road the way she'd come.

A to Z: Short Beginnings Y

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your Y word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

X story: (ugh, X was hard! Thank you for all the suggestions so I could find a few that worked together.)

Ximena cranked up her music, glad the others in the lab had gone home so they couldn't see her singing her favorite Abba song, Xanadu into her microscope. She was just about to belt out the second verse when she caught what sounded like the door closing. Spinning around, she came face to face with Xenophon, her perpetually crotchety boss. Not that she blamed him, if her parents had named her for some ancient Greek historian that everyone had a hard time pronouncing, she'd have a chip on her shoulder too.

His eyes narrowed and his lips drew into a scowl. "What exactly are you doing, Ms. Fischer?"

She scrambled to close her music player on her laptop and return the screen to the chart she was working on. "Sorry, sir, it won't happen again."

"How is the study of the xanthium samples coming along?"

"Quite well." She zoomed in the chart, pointing at the x-axis. "See, I've isolated the genes that cause the burrs. We'll be able to pass them along to Dr. Washington for the trials tomorrow."

Ximena chewed her lip. Her stomach twisted and the muscles in her neck tensed. The few moments of relief from the music gone. "Are we doing the right thing here? I mean, what if the mutated crops get out of control? Starving our enemies is one thing, but we could be talking about an end to farming over the entire world."

A to Z: Short Beginnings X

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your X word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

W story:

Water lapped against the body washing against the beach, never quite finding purchase on the pebbled shore. Nearby, two joggers whispered. Winnie made a note to talk to them after she was done examining the body.

She peered over the windswept sand, hoping for more witnesses, but other than the wake of a speedboat that was quickly disappearing into the distance, and her partner, Pat Wiley, the joggers seemed her best hope for answers.

"Don't let them leave," she said to Pat. The sand worked its way into her shoes and ground against her knees as she bent over the dead willowy girl.

He winked. "Will do."

Winnie gritted her teeth, her new partner was far more interested flirting with her than following orders. She swore he only heard half of what she said every time she opened her mouth. "No, don't. Let. Them. Leave."

"Right." He grinned.

She swore he checked out her ass before he headed up the beach. That he'd made it through the academy was a wonder.

The girl's wooden limbs were a good indication of her time of death. Gauging by the rigor mortis and lack of bloating, she'd died overnight. The bullet hole in her chest seemed to scream that murder was involved. Winnie sighed and pulled out her phone to call for the forensics team, but the wireless signal was nonexistent out here. This was normally such a quiet town, but now she had a true whodunit on her hands.

A to Z: Short Beginnings W

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your W word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

V story (I liked this one so much that I actually finished it, but I'm only posting the opening here. Thanks for the inspiration to warm up for next month, where I attempt to write a short story every day.)

An afternoon of daydreaming amongst the wildflowers seemed the perfect way to forget about Kevin Valentine. The violets were blooming, both purple and white, which were her favorite, but each time her fingers plunged into the mass of heart-shaped leaves, she was reminded of the pain lodged deep in her chest.

She crumpled the delicate stems and threw the flowers to the ground. He thought he could sweet talk her into giving him what he wanted and then toss her aside? That villainous bastard had no idea who he was crossing.

Vanessa raised her face to the sky, gathering the summons to the winds. She rested a single finger on the vein on her neck, timing her words with the beat of her heart she felt there. Once the spell had been cast, she shed her clothes and gave a valedictory wave to the school uniform. The rumbled pile of cloth mocked her and the life she'd so desperately wanted to have, the one she'd begged her father for.

Already she could feel his begrudging gift of a human guise falling away, the soft, brown skin of her hands returning to their usual rough, grey-brown flecked with moss. Leaves sprouted in her long hair as it whipped around her face in the rising wind. Her cousins at the edge of the field swayed, murmuring of her return. Soon her father would hear and he would toss his victory in her face.

A to Z: Short Beginnings V

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your V word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

U story (wow, those were some challenging words!)

Uriah stood in the corner, feeling like an uninvited guest at his own party. The ubiquitous ukelele music Alex insisted upon wherever she went. The princess of the university had deemed his party worthy of her presence, but since the moment she'd arrived, everyone had all but forgotten he existed. His music has come to an abrupt halt as Alex had swapped out her ipod for his. His friends had turned their attention to her, showering her with unctuous conversation as if they were all so honored to be near her.

Minutes dragged into an hour and still not one person acknowledged his existence. He'd turned invisible, the friendly but ugly kid in the shadows.

Having had enough, he went to the door and grabbed his umbrella. They could have the stupid party and his roommates could clean up after Alex and her worshipers. He took one last look at the girls dancing in the living room, their faces flushed from their undulating and alcohol. They guys danced with them, drinks spilling on to couch, the carpet and each other. No one seemed to care that he was leaving. No one seemed to even notice him standing in the doorway.

Uriah slipped out of the apartment and into the hallway. He'd taken all of two steps before a loud crash sounded behind him. He dashed back into the apartment, hoping they'd not broken the couch or the table his parents had bought for him. Instead, a crowd stood still in the middle of the living room. The music sounded hollow in the room devoid of conversation. And then the first girl shrieked and the rest began to ululate.

He couldn't make out their words through all the sobbing. The guys drifted back, eyes wide, white-knuckled grasps on their red party cups.

Alex lay on the floor, face pale, blood trickling from her nose, mouth and ears. She started blankly at the ceiling, her ample chest still.

A to Z: Short Beginnings U

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your U word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

Sorry, life happened at the end of the week and I fell a little behind. S Story has been posted on T day.

T Story:

Tony urged his horse to fly over the grass. He had to make it back to the others before the tornado made touched the ground. The dark clouds loomed in the distance, the black funnel cloud reaching to the treetops. Trunks bent wildly, the leaves torn from the branches and whipping him in the face. The wind roared like the enraged tiger that was his totem.

He clung to the horse, keeping his mouth shut against the debris pelting him. When the teepees came into sight he let out a whoop of triumph. He'd have time to save them all.

Tony rushed into the teepee he shared with his mother and sisters only to run into the scowling form of his uncle. The towering man held a tomahawk raised in his hand.

His voice thundered. "What have you done?"

A to Z: Short Beginnings T

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your T word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

S Story:

They're going to be sorry, Sam thought as he slunk into the shadows across the street from the three girls. Their skimpy shirts and tiny skirts only served to make them sumptuous to the grown men slowly driving by. Any one of them could be a sinister scoundrel, out to leave a girl with a slit throat rather than some STD.

He caught the cloying scent of perfume as the breeze picked up. Those girls needed saving whether they knew it or not and he had just the thing. He reached into the chilled depths of the backpack he'd hidden beside a dumpster and removed three containers.

The round plastic tubs looked like yogurt. They even had a little red strawberry on the front. The girls wouldn't look close anyway. He could already picture their tongues running suggestively over the spoons as he slipped them into the containers. Sam straightened his t-shirt, bearing the same strawberry logo and plastered a silly smile on his face. Plain and goofy, girls never gave him a second thought.

Sam ventured back out into the light and crossed the street. "Would you three like a free sample?"

A to Z: Short Beginnings S

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your S word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

Thank you for all the word suggestions yesterday! It was hard to pick which ones to use with so many to choose from, but I tried to use at least one from everyone.

Many of you have asked where the rest of the stories are or what I'll be doing with these starts. The answer is: May. May is my usual short story focus month, where I either write/start a short story each day or try to finish one. Some days I just work on one. The point is to focus on them instead of novels, which is where my attention lies most of the rest of the year. Due to life being what it was last year, I have all of last year's A to Z short beginnings to play with this May as well. I will certainly not be lacking for material to work with. While I don't often post the finished short stories during May, because my intention is to submit and sell them eventually, I do try to post my progress each day so I hope you'll keep dropping by once April comes to a close. 

R Story:

Rod shooed the dog away so he could carry the gear inside without the flea-ridden ankle bitter sneaking into the bar. From the looks of it, the thing probably had rabies.

"Where is the damned roadie with my guitar?" Ruby's distinctively nasal voice cut through the heavy stage doors as if they were mere cardboard.

Her sound might make her a radio star, but for him and the rest of the crew, all it did was rattle their nerves.

"I'm coming, Ruby."

He glanced around, making sure the furry rascal wasn't lurking under the trailer. All he needed was for the dog to get in and set off Ruby's allergies. She'd be on an instant rampage. She was bad enough to deal with when she was in a good mood.

Not seeing the dog, he grabbed her mic case in one hand the guitar in the other. Rod fought his way through the door with both hands full and slipped into the artificial dim light of the bar. A couple patrons had already set up at the tables in the front, beer bottles sweating in their hands. Ruby sat in a chair on the center of the stage, sipping her rum and coke, like she was royalty.

"Hurry up." She glared at him. "Get it out. Let's go. I don't have all night."

"Right. Sorry," he said, but under his breath he muttered obscenities. Thankfully, the ruthless witch couldn't read lips.

The other band members when about setting up their own gear and gave her plenty of space. They'd all had their brief moment of romance with her over the past year they'd been on the road together, and every one of them had the emotional scars to show for it.

Rod carefully unpacked her guitar and set it in the stand beside her chair, making sure not to touch her. After he'd set up her mic and run the cables, he slipped back out to the trailer to check his own case buried under the backdrops they wouldn't be using in this small venue.

He flipped the latches up and opened the top. Inside rested a neat coil of rope. Tonight after the gig was over and the band completed their last ritual round of shots, Ruby was going to regret her lack of respect.

A to Z: Short Beginnins R

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your R word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

Q Story:

"Quit fretting Isabella, your hair will turn out queer and no one wants that at your coronation," said her grandmother who stood in the shadows.

The maid pulled the braids together and pinned them in place. Another put slippers on her feet and another placed golden bracelets on her arms. When her hair was finished, she moved to the quilted coverlet on her bed to relax while the maids cleaned up the bath and everything they'd brought out of the chests.

"You'll be fine, Isabella, you look the quintessential queen. Go on, they're waiting for you."

The whole seducing the king plan had turned into quite a quagmire, Isabella considered. After all, she'd never wanted to be queen. Her grandmother did. And after the coronation, she'd only have a few years, if she was lucky, to watch her grandmother fail. Tonight, when the moon was full overhead, they'd be switching bodies. The poor king had no idea what a mess his kingdom was about to become, and for that she felt bad. He was a kind man, and he'd been nothing but good to her during their courtship. But if she didn't complete the ritual with her grandmother, Isabella would be dead by morning regardless of her youthful body.

A to Z: Short Beginnings Q

2016 THEME: Short Stories - at least the beginnings thereof.

YOUR PART: Throw out names, themes, random words or situations using the letter of the day and I'll pick some of them to include in the opening paragraphs of a short story.
WHY: I'm most inspired when there's a challenge involved. Usually that means an opening line or a theme. This month: your words.

My creative blender awaits your Q word suggestions in the comments section. Stop by tomorrow's post to read the story you inspired.

Looking for more great blogs? Check out the massive list of A to Z Challenge participants.

P Story:

Percy heaved a great sigh and slumped into the mud, staring at the sky so he could avoid the disapproving gaze of the bird on the fence. He knew it was there, he could feel it's beady black eyes staring down its beak at him. It had been every morning for the last week. But unlike the previous mornings, it hadn't left after he'd turned his attention to the clouds.

"Leave me alone."

It opened its beak and squawked, then settled into a regular bird voice."Why would I do that piglet?"

"Because I'm destined to wallow here until I grow up and turn to bacon. What kind of bird are you anyway? You're too colorful to be an oriole and that's the brightest bird I know."

"Parrot. Pretty bird." It squawked again. "Sorry, I hate when that slips out. Too many years in the pet shop." It perched there, preening its wings. "You can't turn to bacon, you know. You have to be here to have the farmer do that to you."

Percy lifted his head from the cool mud to ponder this information.

"Polly wants a cracker!" The parrot let out a loud shriek and covered its beak with its wings. "So sorry. It gets worse when I'm trying make my own sentences. My name is Piccasso, but the way."

"Nice to meet you." Percy stood, the mud dripping from his portly belly. "So what you're saying is that I could just not be here when the farmer come for me."

"Exactly that. How about an adventure, you and me, perhaps Paris or Pamplona?"

Percy squealed. "Both, please."